DVDs and Democracy

As I alluded to in an earlier post, there are stores here - and I use that word liberally, as these stores are typically little more than a single-wide trailer - that sell pirated DVDs, Cuban cigars, knock-off Oakley sunglasses (usually misspelled with comical impudence; I saw one yesterday where the manufacturer decided "screw it, I'm just spelling it 'Oklay' and hoping no one notices"), cheap electronic equipment, poorly made Nikes which are then re-branded as Reeboks, and energy drinks. They do a brisk business: I thought that attempting to set up shop in posts which are closing down was akin to rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic but these guys prevail. Aaron and I - never Kyle, he seems too cool for them - frequent the one closest to us on a daily basis and they are always busy.


The stores are a microcosm of what is important to Soldiers in Iraq. Nowhere will you find magazines or books.... well they might be past the triple-layered Skoal tins and to the left of the Marlboro cigarettes and novelty lighters shaped like a Twix bar. Greeting cards, Iraq mementos, and all manner of hygiene products have also seemed to take a pass. No, these stores make their money in the here and now -- recently released (to the theater) movies which are little better than bootlegs compete for shelf space with tv series, DVD collections of Sean Penn's best 30 movies and Sub-Saharan rap music (spoiler alert: its pretty damn horrible). But here's the best thing: I could buy a DVD of "The Mechanic" and a collection of Will Ferrell's greatest movies for like, $12. That's right. 12 American dollars, or about the cost of watching that same movie in the theaters or a monthly subscription to Netflix where, after maybe a year I could get all the Will Ferrell movies. And the kicker? Soldiers love that stuff.


And the energy drinks?? Don't get me started. My friend Chris (who is known primarily as "Nighthawk" thanks to our shared love of Step Brothers) is a former Army officer who drinks three basic drinks: Miller Lite, water, and Xyience, a sugar-free energy drink. When he visited over Christmas my younger-yet-taller brother mentioned that it was strange how, outside of a bar, Chris was never far from a sugar-free Rockstar. I never noticed it before, but my he was right. We live off of energy drinks. I mean, I am convinced that the green-and-black Leviathan-in-a-can called "Monster" exists only because of the United States Army. (Brief tangent: has anyone done the math on that one?? The largest Monster available comes in a 32-ounce can. The human stomach can hold just under 36 ounces of liquid at one time. And my Soldiers have been known to buy two at a time.) Half of it is habit; I am still trying to adjust to not having morning coffee and replacing it with a 5-Hour Energy Drink and I am sad to report it is not going well. But the other half?? Why are we so addicted to energy drinks?? Caffeine is an addictive monster my friends... pun intended.


It makes sense, though. We live an existence that is 5% high alert, get-ammo-ready-and-be-prepared-to-move and 95% "go find something to do." Over the course of a year in Iraq that might translate into only 300 hours of fear and a heightened sense of awareness, but that's 298 hours more than you really want to deal with. Plain and simple, it drains you. We need constant access to the energy kick because at any given time we could be told "be ready to roll in an hour, so-and-so unit is under attack" and we have to be balls to the wall. So the energy drink is something I can get behind. And taking that into context, realizing that we spend most of our time waiting to be told to do something $12, regardless of the quality (usually crap), is money well spent.


I'm just going to try to convince these guys to move to America.