Looking More BA Than You Really Are 2: Physically Looking More BA Than You Actually Are

In part 2 of my 2nd multi part series, I will delve into one of the more important aspects of looking Bad Ass. Of course you must talk the over exaggerated talk, but you absolutely must look the look as well. In some parts of the nation, "the look" will manifest itself in something that looks like this:

It's a Jersey thing... and only in Jersey.

For civilians, you usually have to try to dress up and take a few club shots. These will almost certainly be added to Facebook with only the good ones (the ones of you puking in the alley strangely omitted) being tagged to your profile. This gives the awesome illusion that you might always look cool. Note: The above Guido shot is only considered cool in Jersey.

I have not the luxury of hitting up the local club scene for new, drunk pics of myself. The local markets are nice, but they are not yet considered "cool" enough for there to be photographic evidence of my presence there. What is a soldier like me to do? How can I hook the ladies? How do I convince them to want to hang out with me 10 months from now? I'll tell you how, Bad Ass looking pictures that make it appear that I am actually doing something in combat gear.

Don't worry, I already saw that terrorist. He won't be getting my watch, once he is dead!

As you can see, this photo clearly depicts me wearing my 65 pounds of gear and possibly looking at a flower? No. Most likely an enemy threat that must be defeated! Bad Ass right? Wellll not entirely. This was actually taken by one of my NCO's, SGT West, after we had returned from a mission. To the average person, I look like I am actually doing something. Maybe it's dangerous, maybe it's not. You can't quite tell, but all you know is that you feel a tingling in your gut that tells you that I mean business and that I am Awesome in some indescribable way. To the trained soldier, it is obvious that I am not doing shit. Let me explain.

1. I have no gloves on, which are one of those things we always wear on missions.

2. I have no magazine in my rifle. Guess what everybody, we always have ammo loaded when we give the enemy the opportunity to try and kill us. We try not to give them the upper hand.

3. There is a clearing barrel behind me. This is a clear indicator that we are on our base. All entry control points (ECP's) to military bases have clearing barrels because you are not supposed to carry loaded weapons on them.

So bottom line, am i doing something bad ass? A big Negative on that one. Do I look bad ass?Absolutely.

Lesson 2, Complete.